Leslie Dawes
Dawes Explores – the World of the Word
I’m glad that you can drop in on my world of the word. It’s a wonderful world, one that I first climbed into at the tender age of six when my teacher ordered me to stand up in front of my classmates and tell fairy stories.
You may wonder who I am? My name is Leslie Dawes. As the title suggests, I’ve spent a large slice of my life exploring the world of the word.
First there was newspapers: News, sport and a wide range of other general feature writing.
Next radio: Current affairs and news reporter for the BBC.
Then television: Announcer; newscaster; news, sport and features reporter and magazine presenter. Producing and presenting my own series, Dawes Explores, plus hosting a five-hour current affairs/sports programme on Saturday afternoons for commercial radio.
A famous writer once said that no one should tackle writing a novel before they were forty. But I reckon you can take up writing at any age – with a little help. Who cares if you are eighteen or eighty as long as you can deliver the goods? And please don’t think you’re not brainy enough because you never went to university. That’s a load of balls! Remember, nor did most of your readers.
Based on my own experience as a staff journalist and, in recent times, as a comedy writer for several top German, Belgian and Finnish shows, I hope that I can provide you with a launching pad into this wonderful world of words.
HOW?
By personally offering you a tailor-made critique service and/or a correspondence course of tutorials in either aspects of JOURNALISM or COMEDY WRITING and at a price you can afford and negotiable according to your requirements.
If you’d like me to help you with your work, initially please email me at les@dawes90.fsnet.co.uk so that we can discuss your requirements.
To help you to make up your mind, please read on for some tips, useful examples and exercises for you to try.
Are your notebooks at the ready? Good. Then let’s first of all take a look at the world of
JOURNALISM
Believe me, there is none more enjoyable and exciting than the planet of journalism.
My old Editor (87) once told me: ‘A journalist is three people:
1. An observer who can directly or indirectly wield considerable power for his newspaper or radio or TV station.
2. A dedicated, honest, reliable technician for whom scooping the big, exclusive story for the front page is an endless challenge and excitement.
3. An ordinary man (or woman) who has an inbuilt curiosity about life, and has the courage to write about its many good and nasty faces. They have a keen wit – and can even make us laugh!’
So what is journalism?
It’s hard to come up with a definition that will cover all the uses of the term. Perhaps the nearest to it is: The art of contributing regularly to newspapers, magazines, radio and television – and now the Internet.
Journalism is a wonderful craft, highly competitive and fascinating to practise. But how do you set out along its inky path?
Here are some of the questions that I used to ask when I first took the plunge. Perhaps they are yours too, whether you are a complete beginner or already enjoying some success?
- What does it mean to be a writer?
- Can it be learned from a book?
- How difficult is it?
- What does it mean when experienced writers tell me that you can only learn by failure?
- What special qualities do I need – if any?
- How important is it to have a sound, general education?
- Must I have a good command of English?
- What if I’m not very good at spelling?
- How should I treat writing? As a hobby or a business?
- What tools of the trade do I need?
- Is it important to be a good mixer, a good listener and persistent in my quest to be a good writer?
- How important is it to conduct good market research?
- Why is research very important when writing non-fiction?
- Are there any books I can buy that will give me a guide to markets where I can sell my work?
- When I’ve finished work, does it help to ask a person I trust to read it and check for grammatical errors?
- Having selected a market for unsolicited work, and keen to create a big impression on the editor, to whom should I address it?
- How should I present my work?
- Is it true that the Provincial weekly is a good starting place for a writer?
- Would I have to write news items, or would they accept articles on travel; gardening; pigeon racing and so on?
- As a freelance, how much can I expect to be paid?
- How important is it for a journalist to study the Law?
Well, just a few questions there that used to buzz around in my head, and the answers certainly helped to push me through the gateway to full-time journalism. And do please remember it is on the weeklies, with their small staffs, that the beginner can be sure of magnificent all-round experience, and perhaps get his foot in firmly in that back door. Why not allow me to help you discover the answers to your questions?
If you decide to offer me your work to critique or to join my course there will be exercises I’ll suggest that you do.
For example, here’s one I was given: Why not try it? I want you to write in two styles:
First, as an article, and written with a strong comedy flavour, perhaps for an angling magazine?
Secondly, write it as a straight news story for the editor of a local weekly. Each must be written in fewer than 250.
This is the type of article to aim for:
‘There is a dark and dangerous monster lurking in the watery depths of the large lake in Jubilee Park. It has already claimed the lives of over a dozen baby swans and another dozen are missing. Other wildlife living on the edge of the lake, have mysteriously disappeared.’
‘Some local people claim they have seen a crocodile, which may have escaped from a local zoo. Others maintain it’s a young Loch Ness monster, dumped there by the vengeful Scots. But fishermen who regularly use the amenity claim it’s the dirty work of a huge 30-pound pike. Until it’s exterminated swans, other wildlife and young fish are in great danger.’
Try also to give it a ‘catchy’ heading. Something like: ‘Lake Monster’s Up To Fowl Play!’
It is amazing how a good title can quickly catch an editor’s eye!
Nobody in this world of words will guarantee that your work will appear in the columns of a newspaper, or make it in radio or television. But, as a staff journalist, working for all three, I can certainly improve your work and provide news of markets where you can sell it.
COMEDY
Comedy is an important element in every art form, including music, dance, art and mime. The areas where producers are willing to pay for writers’ services are television, the cinema, and the stage, articles, books, cartoons, comics and greeting cards. And many of them are still waiting to be discovered in Euro Comedyland.
I say ‘discovered’ because you have to make producers of foreign comedy programmes aware that you are available and can write funny words, and the only way you can do that is by contacting them. The Germans, the Dutch and the Scandinavians all have a high regard for British comedy. In the recent past, German producers of shows like Samstag Nacht, Happiness, The April Hailer Show and The Varrel and Decker Show have used my material. At present, I’m working for a Belgian comedy show. I don’t get any pressure, hassle or tension, I receive great encouragement and, most important of all, the procedure is quite simple. I don’t have any Flemish and most of the German I was taught in school has disappeared up the tube, so I write in English.
How do you know what kind of sketches and quickies to write for European comedy programmes? If you ask nicely, some producers will send you a tape of their show. You may not speak the language, but it will give you a pretty good idea of the presenter’s style and the characters he likes to play. Favourite locations: the street, a living room or kitchen, a bedroom, a doctor or dentist’s surgery, the local shop, the pub or garage. They will ask you to avoid locations which are difficult to find or expensive to reach. Apart from that you can write about almost anything you like, just as long as it has a surprising and funny punch line.
The comedy writer doesn’t really have to know much about the theatrical side of things. You make with the funny lines but don’t have to put the show together. There are other well-paid guys, like the director, to do that. Nevertheless, there are basics that you should know. For instance, the layout when writing sketches.
Here are a couple of examples:
THE CHEMIST
INT. CHEMIST’S SHOP. DAY
A very young chemist is busy behind the counter when an elderly woman walks in. She gives him an icy stare.
CHEMIST
(smiling)Good morning, Madam. How can I help you?
WOMAN
(disbelieving)Young man, you sure you’re a qualified chemist?
CHEMIST
Yes, I’ve the certificate to prove it.
WOMAN
You’re telling me you’ve passed all your exams?
CHEMIST
Madam, I’m a member of the Pharmaceutical Society.
WOMAN
You’ve never made any mistakes?
CHEMIST
Never!
WOMAN
Then would you please give me a tube of toothpaste!!!
YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD
INT. PUB. DAY.
A reporter is interviewing two brothers who are both over seventy years old. They are sitting at a table drinking pints.
REPORTER
I must say, you are a remarkable pair of brothers. Both well over seventy years of age, yet you are still playing football for your local football team.
You have a secret recipe for staying young?
1st BROTHER
(shaking his head)Not really. You see we come from a long-lived family. Our father is 95 and in hospital at the moment.
REPORTER
Oh, I’m terribly sorry to hear that. I hope it isn’t serious?
2nd BROTHER
No, he got a kick in the back of his leg when he was playing rugby!!!
How do you contact foreign producers and editors?
There are several ways. If you have Satellite TV you should be able to watch channels like SAT 1, RTL, WDR, NDR and PRO-7, which screen comedy programmes, and the producer’s name and the company, plus other information, will appear in the end captions. Make sure you spell his name correctly. It’s worth remembering that the show you’ve just watched may have been recorded some time ago and the producer may have shoved off to conquer new fields, but send it anyhow because his replacement will be on the lookout for new material. If you send him samples of your glittering talent be sure to enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope or one with sufficient International Reply Coupons to make sure rejected material is returned.
What are your chances of getting your hands on an agent? Well, they’re as slippery as eels, unless you’ve a track record like Shakespeare! However, if you’re lucky enough to net one because you’ve struck a small vein of success he or she can certainly exploit it, dress it up, and line you up for new projects. In other words, guide you through your new career and handle contracting issues. But if you’ve got to go it alone... make the breakthrough on your todd, knocking on the doors of these producers is the only answer. They’ll not come looking for you. Of course you’ll get plenty of rejection slips. I’ve got enough to cover my walls – but there is a huge demand for good, original comedy writing, especially in foreign fields. Many producers are looking for sit-coms. They envy our comedy classics like ‘On the Buses’; ‘Dads Army’ and ‘Hancock’s Half-Hour’ and that are constantly being repeated in their countries.
You may not have the comedy artistry of the authors of these gloriously funny programmes, and certainly the marvellous character comedians who brought their words to life are no longer around – and no new ones seem to be looming on the horizon – but you must never give up. If you really want to become a comedy or drama writer, you will make it. Then the time will come when you can lean back in your chair and smile as you finish your latest comedy script or screenplay, short story, novel or whatever. It’s then that you will realise what writing can be. It’s doing something you want to do because it’s truly enjoyable.
So read a lot, always ask questions and MARKET IT. Write every day and imagine you’re chasing the producer to the end of the rainbow – and sell it!
Now it’s...
Decision Time!
Remember, if you’d like me to help you with your work, initially please email me at les@dawes90.fsnet.co.uk so we can discuss your requirements.